How do I make the most out of counselling and how long does it take?

If you’ve been thinking about starting counselling but you’re feeling unsure, this post is for you.

What ‘making the most of counselling’ actually means?

Starting therapy can feel like a big undertaking – something you might have spent a long time looking into, trying to decide if it’s going to help. You might be worrying about how you’re going to afford more than a few sessions or fit another weekly commitment into your already-packed schedule. And it may even feel kind of risky, that question ‘how do I know its actually going to make things better?’ echoing around your mind.

It’s really normal to be asking these questions or feeling unsure. Starting counselling can fill big, especially when you don’t know what to expect or how it all works.

So how can you really make the most of counselling? I’d recommend 3 things:

1. Take some time to chat with a few therapists before choosing. Each therapist will have their individual style of working – what works for someone else, might not be the best fit for you. Most counsellors will offer a free intro phone call and it gives you the chance to get a feel for them and find someone you mesh well with.

2. Chat to your therapist about what’s worrying you, even if it feels messy. Although you know you want counselling, you might be feeling pressure – like you’ve got to wrap everything up in a neat bow in order for your therapist to understand.

But your therapist doesn’t need that. We’re here to be with you in all the confusion and mess, so you feel less alone, less overwhelmed. Gently and by working together, we’ll find the way forward.

3. If there’s something you need, or really don’t need, chat to your therapist. For example, some people I work with find mindful breathing calming and helpful. Others find it sends them into a panic. Some feel most able to process by going with the flow, free-associating. Others find that anxiety-provoking and feel safer by having more structure and predictability. There’s no ‘right’ way of doing therapy instead its about you and your counsellor building a trusting, supportive relationship where you feel safe to do the work of therapy.

How long does counselling take?

Starting therapy can feel very unknown and its normal to be wondering how long counselling is going to take. There might be different reasons behind that question – worries about cost, anxiety about balancing another time commitment, or maybe you’re just desperate to feel like yourself again.

Feeling like you have control over the process is really important.

For example, in my first session with a new client, we talk through what you want from counselling – it might be as simple as just feeling like yourself again or getting some tools to manage anxiety. Or it can be specific like working through a difficult relationship or painful loss from the past.

We’ll then think about what you do (and don’t) want therapy to include – talking, drawing, playing in the sandtray, mindfulness or yoga, structure or free flow. You can choose.

Once therapy starts, we’ll then check in every month or 2. It’s a moment to take stock, check out what’s working, not working and tweak anything that’s unhelpful. That can be anything from changing what I ask as an opening question through to shifting our focus onto the next thing.

So while counselling may still feel unknown, it’s like having a map so you can have agency over where we go, how fast we go, and what form of transport we take.

If you’ve got any questions about starting therapy or you’d like to find out more, do get in touch and we can have a chat.